And maybe, somehow, small things we do could make for something big and important too. A river doesn’t choose how it is going to be, but I can choose how I am going to be.

I liked how I was feeling that morning: strong, in control, and at the same time like I was part of something bigger than me, something I couldn’t control. Having those two different feelings was okay, because the truth is that I can control some things but not everything. I CAN control what I do and how I react when things happen to me.

Then, I started thinking about the old lady. I hadn’t thought about her since I slipped in the river while I was panning for gold.

She was really the reason I was here in the first place. So, there by the river, with no one else around, I started to really think about her. I wanted to be able to be proud of myself. I wanted my family to be proud of me. I thought about how that lady had broken her arm, and how hard it must be to do things with a broken arm. I decided that when I got back, I would stop by to see her. I could maybe help her some, take out the garbage, run some errands, that kind of stuff. I know those are small things. But, like the little streams that turn into a big river, maybe my little good deeds could turn into something bigger.

And then, as I stopped to fish for my lunch, I stopped thinking about anything. It’s hard to explain unless that’s happened to you.

It’s like I just was. I just was like the river, like the trees and cliffs.

I was just a part of the world. And it felt right.

I kept that feeling all the way as I hiked to where Mike came out to meet me. He had brought Layla with him. It was good to see her and I was happy to hear that she felt as good about her solo as I did about mine. We caught up with Nina, Seth, and the rest of the group and all piled back into the van.